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Satirical Writer Taking on Life’s Cruel Sense of Humor One Word at a Time www.RoseBurke.com
Vintage Bride | Flickr

With the spring season also comes the season of bridal showers, and for me, that typically means spending an afternoon consuming fruit-soaked booze and a free meal. I’d always thought that showers (both baby and bridal) were a silly tradition. A burden on us single women to not only throw down our hard-earned cash for some nifty kitchen appliance we can’t even afford for ourselves but to also wrap it in a way that earns Ohhhs and Ahhhs during the lengthy gift-opening ritual.

There isn’t enough of that fruit-soaked booze to mask the embarrassment I’ve felt after spotting my unsightly…


BREAKING NEWS: Just weeks after transitioning back to remote learning, a public high school in Manhatten expelled 17 students for violating their arduous dress code. Despite studying from home, pupils are still expected to adhere to the school’s clothing regulations which forbid the exposure of the chest, thighs, and shoulders.

Ironically, the suspended students are being punished with permission to ignore their alarm clocks, browse the internet at their leisure, and binge episodes of Schitt’s Creek on Netflix. However, rather than reveling in all of this free time they now have on their hands, the outraged students have chosen to…


It’s spooky season and with that comes the sudden desire to drink pumpkin-flavored beer and wear a lot of flannel. This is also the time of year when people like to get their thrills and chills from some of their favorite sitcoms.

Here are all of the Halloween TV episodes of our favorite shows that you can stream on Netflix and Hulu right now!

Streaming On Netflix

The Office

S2 E5: “Halloween
Aired in 2005
IMDB Description: “Michael is pressured by corporate to fire someone, which puts a damper on the office Halloween party.” …


The year is 2113 CE.

Democracy has been eradicated.

America ceases to exist.

According to the history books, it all started with The COVID Depression…

On The COVID Depression Of The ‘20s

“While the rest of the world recovered from the effects of COVID-19 by 2021, the U.S. remained in a state of chaos until 2032. This was the year a successful vaccine was finally formulated.

Prior vaccine trials administered by the Trump administration led to severe genetic mutations including transparent reptilian-like skin, the growth of undersized and useless appendages, and sudden-onset leprosy. Compared to these side effects, those associated with the vaccine formulated in 2032 were…


President Donald Trump won’t stop interrupting both Vice President Joe Biden and the moderator Chris Wallace during the first debate. | Source: YouTube

Here we are at Part 3! Both President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden have left us with a ton of cringe-worthy moments to mull over before election day, and all during their very first presidential debate.

Led by Fox anchor Chris Wallace, this debate has left most of us with the same thought: “These are our options?” While some of us are preparing for China’s invasion by learning Mandarin, the debate has inspired most of us to start packing in anticipation of Canada’s borders reopening.

Until then, enjoy the cringiest moments from the remaining three segments of…


President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden being reprimanded by the moderator during the first presidential debate of 2020. | Source: YouTube

Welcome back for more cringe-worthy moments from the first presidential debate of 2020! If you missed out on Part 1, you can read it here.

As we all likely predicted, the debate had a rocky start. The first segment consisted of more childish insults than any actual information about each candidate’s stance but things improved for the second segment. Starting off with the topic of COVID-19, Trump and Biden took the debate more seriously after practically being begged to do so by moderator and Fox News anchor, Chris Wallace.

Their civility was short-lived, however, and it was only a matter…


President Donald Trump and Vice President Joe Biden go head to head at the first presidential debate of 2020. | Source: YouTube

If you were left feeling like pickings were slim after the first presidential debate between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden, you aren’t alone.

Riddled with namecalling, blatant lies, and disrespect, these grown men sounded more like hormonal teenagers than presidential candidates. I’m pretty sure most Americans are planning to move to Canada right now.

These cringe-worthy moments are from the first segment of the debate. (Yes, there were so many that I had to break up the article.)

Biden’s Awkward Gesture Walking On Stage

Since the candidates weren’t allowed to shake hands due to COVID-19 concerns, they greeted each other with…


“Captain America” star Chris Evans | Source: Gage Skidmore

Chris Evans has finally spoken out about accidentally leaking his own nude photos, calling the incident a “very interesting weekend, full of lessons learned.” It occurred when the “Captain America” actor posted a clip of him playing a round of Heads Up and accidentally flashed the camera roll on a phone. In the video, a picture of male genitals can clearly be seen. While it hasn’t been confirmed, it’s believed that both the phone and the genitals belonged to Evans.

Despite the video being quickly deleted, screenshots continue to make their rounds on the internet, causing Evans’ name to trend…


Zac Efron’s new documentary series on Netflix, Down to Earth, is causing women all over the world to swoon, leading to a noticeable spike in online vibrator sales. Adult shop owners have taken to social media to thank the actor for the sudden influx of customers after receiving dozens of inquiries from women claiming they wore out their sex toys after watching the show and were in need of a more sustainable product.

While Efron has been showing off his sexy bod on the big screen for over a decade, his latest documentary shows us a side we’re quite unfamiliar…


woman alone in the shower
woman alone in the shower

BREAKING NEWS comes out of Richmond, Virginia today where 37-year-old homeowner Susan Fields was relieved to have her shower repaired by a man without being harmed in the process. A rare occurrence for women who live alone, Fields went several days without a shower hoping that either a female plumber would become available or that her shower would miraculously start working again on its own.

When asked why she didn’t have a male companion sit with her during the appointment for safety she explained that she just moved to town and doesn’t know anyone. “I contemplated hiring a man to…

Rose Burke

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