Rose Burke – Medium

Rose Burke

Exciting Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day In Dunedin, FL

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re looking for something exciting to do with your significant other, then you’ve come…

7 min readFeb 1, 2024

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Exciting Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day In Dunedin, FL

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Rose Burke

A Step-By-Step Guide For The Boomers In Your Office Who Still Can’t Figure Out How To Use The…

Step 1: Checking if your computer is on

3 min readOct 5, 2021

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A Step-By-Step Guide For The Boomers In Your Office Who Still Can’t Figure Out How To Use The…

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Rose Burke

To My Unrelenting Spouse Who Has Been Exiled To The Basement

At some point during these past few months, as we bickered through the lips of our lawyers and divided between us the things that don’t…

2 min readSep 20, 2021

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To My Unrelenting Spouse Who Has Been Exiled To The Basement

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Rose Burke

The Bridal Shower: An Act Of Rebellion

With the spring season also comes the season of bridal showers, and for me, that typically means spending an afternoon consuming…

4 min readMay 10, 2021

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The Bridal Shower: An Act Of Rebellion

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Rose Burke
in
The Haven

17 Students Suspended From Remote Learning For Distracting Classmates With Their Bare Shoulders

BREAKING NEWS: Just weeks after transitioning back to remote learning, a public high school in Manhatten expelled 17 students for…

5 min readDec 14, 2020

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17 Students Suspended From Remote Learning For Distracting Classmates With Their Bare Shoulders

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Rose Burke

All The Halloween TV Episodes You Can Stream On Netflix And Hulu

It’s spooky season and with that comes the sudden desire to drink pumpkin-flavored beer and wear a lot of flannel. This is also the time…

16 min readOct 22, 2020

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All The Halloween TV Episodes You Can Stream On Netflix And Hulu

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Rose Burke

Excerpts From Future History Books On What Was Once America

The year is 2113 CE. Democracy has been eradicated. America ceases to exist. According to history, it all started with The COVID…

6 min readOct 14, 2020

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Excerpts From Future History Books On What Was Once America

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Rose Burke

Now That We’ve All Seen Chris Evans’ Junk Can We Talk About Why We Only Slut-Shame Women For…

Chris Evans has finally spoken out about accidentally leaking his own nude photos, calling the incident a “very interesting weekend, full…

4 min readSep 24, 2020

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Now That We’ve All Seen Chris Evans’ Junk Can We Talk About Why We Only Slut-Shame Women For…

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Rose Burke
in
The Haven

Zac Efron’s New Netflix Show Causes Spike In Vibrator Sales

Zac Efron’s new documentary series on Netflix, Down to Earth, is causing women all over the world to swoon, leading to a noticeable spike…

3 min readJul 29, 2020

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Zac Efron’s New Netflix Show Causes Spike In Vibrator Sales

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Rose Burke
in
Lady Pieces

BREAKING: Man Hired To Repair Shower Doesn’t Murder Female Homeowner

BREAKING NEWS comes out of Richmond, Virginia today where 37-year-old homeowner Susan Fields was relieved to have her shower repaired by a…

3 min readJul 20, 2020

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woman alone in the shower

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Rose Burke

Rose Burke

Satirical writer taking on life’s cruel sense of humor one word at a time. Published by The Independent, TSR, The Conium Review, and more. www.RoseBurke.com

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